Photo Set
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markiplier:

kzyune:

"I want a youtuber that isnt sexist"

  • Markiplier

"I want a youtuber that doesn’t make controversial jokes"

  • have you considered: Markiplier

"I want a youtuber that is actually funny and genuine and talks to their fans on a regular basis"

"I want a youtuber that-"

  • image

Thank You! :D

Source: kzyune
Chat
  • *Man walks into a store and finds employee*
  • Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
  • Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
  • Man: I never filled out an application.
  • Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
  • Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
  • Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
  • Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
  • Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
  • Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
  • Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
  • Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
  • Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
  • Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
  • Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
  • Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
  • Employee:
  • Man:
  • Employee:
  • Man: Fuck you, slut.
Source: claudieblue
Photo Set

I like hot girls. And I like hot boys. I like hot people! What can I say? I’m shallow.

(via period-doritos)

Source: karens-gillans
Photo Set

fluffymb:

The moment when the table turns.

(via olitwist)

Source: baahts
Photo Set
Photo Set
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dangerouspoetry:

dangerouspoetry:

my dad just came in and tossed this at me saying it “came with the paper”

image

I’m nearly a 20 year old man

update:

I gave in

image

her name is stephanie

(via a-viral)

Source: dangerouspoetry
Photo

drwagc:

jagiv:

I was just explaining to my friends how bald eagles are like pigeons in Alaska.

Freedom truck

(via a-viral)

Source: guns-and-humor
Text

thequeerclone:

the fact that there have no leaked nudes in my dashboard proves that i’m following the right people

(via a-viral)

Source: thequeerclone